Controlling People by Patricia Evans

In life it is common for a person to complain he/she is not happy and comfortable with his/her life either because of personal or external forces. These negative forces in most cases affect an individual physical and mental well being and if the situation is not dealt with then they will permanently affect their lives. The purpose of this paper is to review the book Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand and Deal with People who Try to Control you which was written by Patricia Evans and it was first published under the Adams Media Printing House in 2002. The paper will give a brief summary of some of the chapters in the book and the message that the author was trying to pass to the reader. 

The book Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand and Deal with People who Try to Control you is a motivating book that is divided in four different parts with a total of thirty chapters. Sense and Nonsense is the first chapter of the book and the author has observed that in life, ignorance of the law does not justify oppression of the people but it only makes it possible. The main message in this chapter is that as human beings, we should not feign ignorance every time we make a mistake. In addition to that, the author has stated that by being able to understand what is really troubling or threatening you so will be in a better position to decide the best way to deal with the problem.


Another important chapter in the book is the fourth chapter titled, Beside Yourself: When do people go when they are beside themselves? In this chapter, the author has observed that the cause of “people’s problems” is when one person tries to control the other. This means that by trying to make a person who he/she is not, then they are likely to respond in a negative or in a violent manner. The main lesson in this chapter is what makes people be beside themselves. According to the author most reasons that make people be beside themselves are those related with sadness or disaster.

In part II of the book, one of the most captivating chapters is seventeen of the book title Signs of Separateness. This chapter focuses of love and relationships and how partners behave in a relationship. It is common that when two persons are in a relationship, there is a tendency that one person will want to be authoritative and in control. This means that the partner being dominated will feel oppressed and in the end this causes friction and tension in the relationship. in conclusion of the book in chapter four of the fourth part, there is chapter called Breaking the Spell (XXVIII). In this chapter the author has explained that when an individual understands the negative forces in his/her life then they can be in a better position to break the spell and in the have a reconnection with oneself end live a better and a more straight forward life. 

After having looked at some of the chapters in the book it is wise to look at some of the key points that the author has brought out in the book. The author has mentioned the different kinds of control that people can go through in life; nurturing control and oppression control. Most people are always subjected to some form of control either knowingly or unknowingly and in most cases this control leads to physical or emotional abuse / torture. This control does not apply to those in relationships or family set-up but also to those employed. Reading this book gives an individual knowledge of how to recognize, understand and deal with people who try to control you.

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